


Mission Impossible: T.E.D.

by RachaelBmine



Series: ✿ Harem Jaebeom ✿ [2]
Category: H1GHR Music, K-pop, K-rap
Genre: Bath Time, Crack, Gen, Mission Fic, RPF, This is all a joke I met Ted and he is clean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 04:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15405306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachaelBmine/pseuds/RachaelBmine
Summary: I have used only the likenesses of real-life people in this fic. It is all 100% fiction.





	Mission Impossible: T.E.D.

**Mission:** Aquire target and transport to rendezvous point A for immediate decontamination 

**Location:** The home of Park Jaebum 

**Target:** Ted Park 

**Last known whereabouts:** Third floor Theater Room 

* * *

It was late and the house was quiet and dark. Jay, Simon, and Chase were off promoting with Woodie and Gray in tow. The playroom was still and shrouded in slumber, the peace occasionally being broken by gentle snores. Kaisa and Rachael huddled in one of the guest bathrooms with the lights off and a single tea light lit. The golden glow barely illuminated their faces as they whispered harshly at each other.

 

“We went over this shit a week ago, Kai,” Rachael hissed.

 

“Well, we also thought we’d have help a week ago but look how that turned out,” Kaisa added sarcastically, nodding her head up and down to the cadence of her words.

 

“It’s not going to be that hard, just follow the plan and well go to the main bathroom cause-”

 

“It’s bigger and we need more space to maneuver,” Kaisa finished Rachael’s sentence.

 

She reached down and pulled up a small black duffle bag and dropped it on the counter, knocking the weak candle into the sink in the process. As the flame was doused the bathroom fell into darkness. Rachael turned and felt for the light switch and flipped it up, turning back to give Kaisa an annoyed look.

 

“Why was the light off anyway?”

 

“Because this is a mission and operatives work best in the cover of darkness.”

 

“Such a fucking nerd,” Kaisa shook her head and suppressed her giggles as she opened the bag.

 

The two women donned black pants and hoodies that Rachael had purchased from Amazon, then pulled night vision goggles, also purchased by Rachael from Amazon, onto their heads. The final piece to complete their ensemble were the weapons: large, intimidating, and full of ammunition. A vintage SS300, the ultimate weapon, for Rachael and the 23 inch 006-VT blaster for Kaisa. [RAMBO] The proud grin on her face made Kaisa laugh again.

 

“Geez, Rach, how much did this shit cost?” She asked the question but wasn't sure she actually wanted to know.

 

“Uhhhh…”

 

“Jay is going to kill you.”

 

“Whatever, let's go,” she mumbled and flipped the light off again.

 

The entire house was dark, they had made sure to turn off all the lights on their way to the second floor. Now all they needed to do is make their way down the long hallway and up the stairs to the third floor where the theater was. Their target was currently occupied with a screen the size of a wall and Destiny 2, just as he had been for the last four hours. Rachael crawled along the carpeted floor towards the stairwell, straining to keep her equipment silent and listen out for the steady sounds of gameplay up ahead.

 

“Pssst,” Rachael whispered towards Kaisa who was walking slowly down the hall.

 

When she turned Rachael pointed to the floor in a ‘get down’ motion, drawing an eye roll from her friend. She dipped down anyway and melted into the shadows, nearly disappearing. Rachael proceeded to make hand gestures, two fingers to her eyes in a sweeping motion, two fingers forward, a hooked arm thrust to signal the chokeslam. Kaisa slapped a hand over her mouth to stay quiet as a light snort came from Rachael’s stifled laugh across from her. After a moment they listened, the distorted sounds of a robotic voice overlapped by explosions and gunfire continued to float down the stairs. Their target was still occupied.

 

The stairwell was wide enough for both operatives to move in, making it easy to slither their way forward. At the top, they could see the bluish light from the screen glowing. The theater had three rows of leather recliners, with two in the front row extended to make a big enough space to lie down completely. After peeking over the back of the last row of seats, they couldn’t get a clear visual of the target. But they knew the front was the only place he could be. Rachael resumed her hand gestures, one to the left and one to the right. They split up, Rachael going right, Kaisa going left, and army crawled as quietly as possible to the steps. They were wide theater style steps that lead to the bottom which made crawling down difficult. But the dim light of the screen against the large leather seats cast shadowy cover, perfect for them to remain hidden.

 

Rachael made it to the bottom of the steps and adjusted her position. This close to the screen she had to remove the night vision goggles and place them to the side. Her movements were completely stealth as were Kaisa’s and she was becoming more and more sure of their success as each second passed. Yet, when she lifted her hoodie covered head to peer over the arm of the recliner she caught the glint in the targets hard side eye. He had definitely seen her.

 

_Shit._

 

“We’re made!” She screamed and leaped to her feet. Kaisa popped up on her side a fraction of a second later, gun at ready. Rachael yanked her gun from her back.

 

“Ted, it's alright. Just come with us,” Kaisa cooed, voice sweet and gentle, directly contradicting the joy that showed on her face for having their target surrounded.

 

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way, babe,” Rachael slowly pumped her gun a few times, the threat made apparent.

 

“Preferably the hard way,” Kaisa chimed in.

 

Ted put the controller on the seat beside him and stood slowly. His eyes glowed a fiery red in the darkness of the room. Mischief played at the corners of his mouth, the twitch just barely giving him away. The hard way it would be.

 

All three began to move at once, yet it all seemed to move in slow motion. Kaisa howled and pulled the trigger on her gun, a piercing stream of water shooting out. Rachael slammed back the lever of her gun and the torrent that spewed out was so wide the mist distorted her view of her target. But before a single drop could touch him Ted spun around, stringy hair that was way too long feathered through the air, and leaped over the back of the leather recliner. Both women turned simultaneously, neural handshake successful and Drift complete, and shot up the stairs in order to block the only exit in the room. Ted sprung from seat to seat at amazing speeds but Rachael and Kaisa were undeterred. They made it to the landing and doubled their assault, Kaisa catching Ted directly in the face and Rachael soaking his shirt. The power of the spray proved to be too much and Ted, mid-jump, collapsed to the floor with an ‘oof’.

 

The silence of the room was disturbing when blended with the eerie glow of the paused game on the screen. Ted lay motionless as Kaisa and Rachael approached slowly. If they messed this up he could be down the stairs and away from them in a blink of an eye. He got incredibly fast at this time of the week. When they were mere inches away, Rachael poked him with the nozzle of her gun and looked back up at Kaisa.

 

“Did we knock him out,” Kaisa questioned, receiving only a shrug in response. “Well, let's get his shirt at least.”

 

They knelt next to him and Kaisa placed her weapon down but still within reach. When she reached for the hem of his shirt she caught a glimpse of his partially hidden face. On his face was the biggest shit-eating grin she’d ever seen. They had been doing this for weeks now but each time Ted had grown and adapted becoming more difficult to handle. She wanted to be mad but, honestly, she couldn’t.

 

“Clever girl,” she muttered through clenched teeth just before Ted slithered out of his shirt like a snake shedding its skin.

 

Rachael screamed her objections as he grabbed Kaisa’s gun and turned to them at the steps. He let a powerful surge of water and escaped down the stairwell, giggling like a maniac, taking two stairs at a time. Rachael and Kaisa, now soaked, took a single moment to kick themselves. They both wanted to curse just thinking about the newb mistake they'd just made but that wasn’t an option. They had a mission to accomplish.

 

When they descended the stairs they caught a glimpse of Ted’s shock of red hair in the hallway across from them. Only the railing, a 15-foot drop, and an entire common room in between them. No biggie. They ran toward the library and cut through to the opposite side of that wing of the house. It was the billiards and game room that was still in the process of being renovated.

 

“Ah, so it comes to this,” Rachael boasted as they walked into the room. She brandished her Super Soaker and tsked loudly.

 

Ted was hidden within all the sheeting and tarps that hung around the room and it was only a matter of time until they caught him. Nodding at each other, Kaisa pulled a thin rope from where it was clipped to her belt and they moved forward as one. The cloudy white tarps obscured their view but not enough to make it impossible to spot Ted’s red hair through them. Sly smiles crept across the ladies’ faces are they zeroed in on him. Kaisa yanked at the tarp and it billowed as it fell, covering Ted’s head and making him scream and thrash wildly.

 

“Give it up, Ted! You’re caught!” Kaisa roared and ripped off the tarp.

 

Rachael showered him with water from her gun just for giving them a hard time and he covered his face, pitiful whimpers coming from behind his hands. Kaisa tied the rope around his wrists as he held them up and pulled him to his feet. The pout on his face was one for posterity and it was only amplified by his ridiculously cute chubby cheeks. He looked, for what it was worth, like an upset cat that had been caught out in a rainstorm.

 

“Aww, don’t be sad-” Kaisa began but was cut off.

 

“Cut the shit. If you want sympathy, come with us and be good,” Rachael said harshly, gaining another pout from Ted and an aghast look from Kaisa. She sighed. “If you behave we can bake cookies and cuddle and stuff.”

 

The smile that Ted gave them would have warmed their hearts if he didn’t still look like an alley cat. Kaisa pulled him along by his bound wrists, just in case he got any ideas (he’s done it before) and they headed to the first floor. Along the way Ted presented his usual case:

 

“You know I’m a grown ass man right?”

 

“Yes, babe we know,” Kaisa, always the soft one, replied.

 

“Then why do you make us do this?”

 

“It’s fun.” He shrugs. “And I like that Rach ups the ante every time. It' gets me all excited.” He leans in to kiss Rachael’s cheek but she dodges. He, instead, pokes his tongue out and licks her right before she escapes.

 

“Ugh, Ted, why are you such a perv?” She groans and wipes her face with her sleeve.

 

Ted, unfazed, breaks into the chorus of “Me Luv” and dances down the stairs behind Kaisa. The bathtub in the master bedroom was the size of a jacuzzi and according to the Rachael the best place in the house- after the kitchen. They got the water running and stripped Ted of his socks, jeans, and boxers. Kaisa dropped salts and bubble bath into the churning water and watched as it changed color to a crystal clear aquamarine.

 

“Why don’t you guys treat me this way every day?” Ted asked suddenly, laughing when Rachael swatted at him.

 

“You lil shit- we treat you SO good!”

 

“Uh-huh, suuuuure ya do,” Ted said sarcastically as he stepped into the deep, bubbling water.

 

Kaisa and Rachael followed suit, sinking into the hot water with a moan. If they were being honest, they would admit that they were worn out chasing a grown man around the house, even if they did have tons of fun doing it. They even knew that Ted washed regularly but they still participated in this chase every week. The ritual came into existence after Ted’s first visit to the house as the newest member of H1GHR Music. He had been working and sweating all day and had asked Jay to take him to his hotel to shower. Of course, Jay told him to shower at the house and proceed to drive straight to his destination.

 

Needless to say, when Ted stepped into the house with his messy ponytail and mountain man musk, it didn’t end well. Gia proceeded to roast the living shit out of him with Kaisa and Rachael dying of laughter behind her. Ted tried to take it all in stride, he knew he was rank but he also knew they joked with no hostility. After laughing for a while Rachael was kind enough to push him into a shower with body wash in every scent, a rough loofah, and the threat that if he ever returned so stinky she would drag him into a bath and scrub him raw.

 

Now that he was practically moved into Jay’s house, although Jay always tells him ‘No way in hell’, he gets the “treatment” every week. And for him, that's nothing to complain about.

**Author's Note:**

> I have used only the likenesses of real-life people in this fic. It is all 100% fiction.


End file.
